Have you ended the year with not having the type of loving relationship your heart so longs for? You have no problem flirting, hooking up with someone, but soon the relationship fizzles, right?

Do you take time to examine what went wrong with the relationship, or do you either shrug it off as no big deal, or even worse, put the blame all on the other person? Well, one of the greatest relationship tools you can give yourself to improve your relationships, is the ability to listen. I mean really listen, because it can save time pursuing a relationship that is not going anywhere. It is important to listen to your partner, but listen to yourself, as well. Here are some sure signs that you aren't listening or don't want to be in the relationship, anyway:

*You use to constantly call your partner just to hear their voice.

*Your partner keeps bringing up the same thing that is bothering them and you change the subject.

*You say you miss seeing your partner, but everything else takes precedence.

*You say you love them, but have your eye out for something that might be better.

*You catch your partner in even the smallest of lies, and when you bring it up it really isn't discussed, but you know another excuse has been given.

*Your partner is not answering the phone when you call and the return call is several days later.

*Your partner gives excuses such as: I thought about you and guess I could have called, but; the area I was in didn't have cell phone or internet access; I just didn't think about it.

*You say that more than anything you want to be with them, but you know it isn't a healthy relationship for them to be in.

*Your partner tells you that they don't like double standards, but you know you do and your excuses have a lot to do with that double standard.

*Your partner blames the downfall in every relationship on the ex.

*Your partner is depressed because of all the ex put them through, but swears they wouldn't get back with them even if they could.

*You are out with someone and all you can do is talk about your ex or your date does the same thing.

It is important to really pay attention to what is going on in the situation. Everyone, including you, deserves a relationship that makes you better for having known it, helps you grow and uplifts you when you are down. If you find yourself with any of the above scenarios, it is best to end the relationship, reflect and move on to a more healthy relationship.

It is true, it takes two people to make or break a relationship. Should you find that you are the only one trying to keep it a nourishing, healthy relationship; the time has come to release it. Never believe you have to stay, because you are too old to find someone, no one else is out there. Relationships are truly like public transportation, when one leaves another is right around the corner. However, it is usually best to take time in between stops to assess lessons and your own actions in the past one to move on without repeating the same patterns.

Remember you have control over how you let someone treat you. You deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and loved unconditionally and so does your partner. Be true to yourself, love yourself and a healthy relationship will be yours.